You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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