those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
