Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize