i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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