why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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