Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Randomize
