Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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