I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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