i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
