Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
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