i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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