Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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