After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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