Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
