Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
