I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
zippers are such a cool invention
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
