just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
