You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
