oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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