he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
