Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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