did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
