and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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