The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
