Don't you send me to vm
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Alive.
So much puke
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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