Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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