The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
