go do what you do best...puke behind churches
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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