There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
if only i could text you this smell
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
