i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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