I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize