My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
