Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
