what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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