I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
