New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
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