i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
