Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize