Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
