speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
