Kiss
Puke
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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