I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize