Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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