He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Michael Bay diarrhea
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I wear drunk well.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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