I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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