So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
