Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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