Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
