How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
