You made me cry and you don't even care
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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