your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
