im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Then you guys just all showered together...?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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