my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize