STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Sorry about my life...
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
