Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
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