what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
