During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
