i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize