i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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