these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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