butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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