is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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