Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
