Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
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I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
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Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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