just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize